


i wanna see how lucky, lucky can be

by Fanofthearts



Series: Scars are the Clothing of the Heart [3]
Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, berena - Freeform, oops my hand slipped, what could happen, what probably won't happen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-29 06:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19824619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanofthearts/pseuds/Fanofthearts
Summary: It would have been an odd sight to most, two grown women lying squeezed together in a hospital bed, holding each other so there was just enough room for both of them.





	i wanna see how lucky, lucky can be

**Author's Note:**

> Iordio, I couldn't do this without you. My eternal thank you. 
> 
> For however tomorrow (Tuesday where the rumors of Bernie will be found out) turns out, I'm not leaving this ship. Please stay with me.

It would have been an odd sight to most, two grown women lying squeezed together in a hospital bed, holding each other so there was just enough room for both of them. One in a blue hospital gown, IV attached to her hand her face bruised and cut. The other in a prim looking blue flowing silk shirt and black pants that were at one time immaculately pressed. Bernie pulled strings with the lead surgeon; a fellow medic who agreed to look the other way when Serena burst through the door a few hours ago. The blonde had been airlifted to Berlin after a series of explosions in a hospital where she was working last week in South Sudan. She was desperate to get away from anything reminding her of home, of Serena, of regrets, of not being brave enough. 

Bernie nuzzled into Serena’s neck inhaling her familiar scent feeling more grounded than she had in months. “All I could think about was you, Serena.” Long fingers played with Serena’s slightly shorter ones. “I didn’t expect to see Alex again, let alone work with her.” She sighed and leaned a little heavier on Serena’s shoulder wincing when the stitches in her abdomen pulled. “It was nice, a familiar face, someone who didn’t remind me of home.” She sighed, “I told her about us, about everything. About- about all my regrets. We’d only been on site for three weeks. I was in the middle of surgery when heard a noise, it was so loud, so very deafening. It reminded me of the jeep right before it...before… umm.” She swallowed thickly. “Then…blackness.”

Serena nodded, snuggling her nose into Bernie’s slightly longer blonde curls, “I know, love.” She had sagged to her knees when Alex showed up on the ward with the news. Cameron completely ignoring Alex’s pleas to return with her and Serena to Bernie’s side. At the time it was touch a go, Alex having left for Holby once she was stable. Bernie having, taken the brunt of the blow from the air attack, was left with a ruptured her spleen and broken her right leg. Her heart was threatened from her previous surgery as was her spine. The doctors had feared cardiac arrest but they were able to stabilise her enough to airlift her to Germany for an operation.   
It was a chance reunion overseas with Medecins Sans Frontieres that had renewed their old friendship. It made Bernie remember what attracted her to Alex in the first place. The sexual tension was gone from their relationship and in its wake was a warm companionship. It felt a bit like slipping on a well-worn favourite pair of slippers. 

“I didn’t mean for Alex to jump on a plane and…”

Serena stopped her, “Shush, I’m so glad she did.” The backs of her knuckles traced her cheek gently, her eyes franticly trying to drink her all in. A look of wonder filling her face, still not believing she was really here. “It was stupid Bernie. God! I’ve been so stupid!”

“No, Serena. We were both stupid.” Bernie thought she was hallucinating when Serena rushed through the door. She’d been moved out of ICU two days ago and forced into physio. It was a slow process but she could lift herself from bed to chair and begun walking the halls with a walker. “I still can’t believe that you are here.” She announced for what felt like the hundredth time. She was delirious until Serena touched her face, ran her fingers through her hair, and kissed her lips with tears streaming down her face. Bernie babbling, disbelieving, until Serena was pressed against her despite the pain, finally realizing it wasn’t all a dream. 

The hospital gown chafed against her skin as she shifted to get a bit more comfortable, her eyes beginning to droop. The silk of Serena’s blouse was soft against her cheek, but not as soft as the skin on the inside of her wrist where her fingers were currently stroking. 

“I had a dream. At least I think it was a dream.” Her voice was heavy with sleep, “I saw our life… a life that wasn’t this one.”

Serena cocked her head, “What do you mean?” Her lips gently kissed her forehead. 

“We met at a birthing class, you were pregnant Elinor.” She felt Serena stiffen against her, Bernie gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “I wasn’t pregnant though.” She squinted trying to remember. “You left Edward, and I was with you when you delivered her. It was a C-section.” She nodded remembering, “Oh, she was so perfect, you were so perfect, so brave.” Her fingers threaded with Serena’s. “You moved in with me, but I wasn’t sure you loved me. I loved our little family though, so so much.” She exhaled, her eyes slipping closed a small smile played on her lips, “You were beautiful and oh so stunning, long hair, like chestnut waves. I built her cot and you laughed at me swearing in frustration…” She gave over to sleep. 

Serena gave a watery smile, letting out a shaky breathe. Her left hand stilled in Bernie’s hair, her right hand going to her face to wipe away her tears. “If only we had met sooner, Darling.” She whispered looking down at Bernie’s serene face and finally let herself relax. Exhaustion suddenly taking over, she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Pushing how close she had come to losing Bernie, this time for good from her mind. 

She conjured up what Bernie had described, of their little life. Not being alone in labour, Bernie being by her side; her hand clutched in hers. Going home from the hospital to their house, warm, cozy and perfect. It would have been lovely. When Bernie was well enough to travel Serena would take her home and they would create that life, as close as they could come to it. After all third time was lucky.


End file.
